Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
