Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
