How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
