best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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