if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
