I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
