Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
