Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
