No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
