Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
