North Korea, Best Korea!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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