so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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