the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
