GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
