we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
