you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
try to milk me bitch
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
