her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
