I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I have demons in me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
