He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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