You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
