Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
