Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm passing your future prison.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
