I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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