OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
