I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
