It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
