i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
