are you still at the devil's house?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
