oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
