he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
