just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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