the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
