I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
