So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
