Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
