i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
