We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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