I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
