Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
