i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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