I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
