Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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