omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
