her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
