I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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