if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
