this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
