Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
