you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
