I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
