Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
