That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
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