So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Terrible idea I love it
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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