fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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