Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
