i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is Oprah even human
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
