She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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