haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
