Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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