**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
