Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
