I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
