hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
