i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
