you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
