One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
